Long Winter

I feel like it's going to be a loooong winter...if the rest of our cold days indoors will be anything like yesterday. Yikes! I don't know where we went wrong, but it was chaos all day.

Iris had school in the morning, which normally gets a good amount of her energy out and makes her ready for nap after lunch. Not yesterday. She was super hyper after they ate, so I decided to let the girls decorate the tree with tinsel and candy canes that I'd bought that morning. I assumed that would take some time and work them up to a good nap. Not so.

Lily and Iris really just didn't want to sleep, which meant Addy wasn't going to sleep either. I threatened Lily with no snack and no more TV this week (they were already on a "no TV" day because of a meltdown the previous day), but nothing seemed to matter. I explained calmly that their colds were not going to go away if their bodies didn't rest. Nothing. 

Iris naps in my room alone, but she wasn't any better. I moved Lily into my room and I lied down with the both of them, thinking my presence would make them lie still and rest. Nope! They wanted to hug and lie on me, touch my face, talk and sing to me, etc. I was so frustrated....and TIRED!

Addy finally went to sleep when she was alone in the girls' room. Iris and Lily never did. I laid with them for an hour in my bed before giving up and explaining there'd be no afternoon snack. They cried but soon moved on to playing. 

I think I wanted some crazy response like, "Oh Mom, we're so sorry. We will be good and take a nap." I know - they're only 3 and 4 years old. :) 

By the time Arthur got home, I was done. Iris was sitting on the kitchen rug on a time out, Lily was on another rug on time out, and Addy was (because she napped!) the only pleasant one to be around. Arthur got home and took over the discipline and at dinner I started crying. I was just so wiped out and frustrated. What was I doing wrong? Do other mothers get like this? Do mothers of more than one ever act like this - yelling all day, then crying at the end?? Arthur tried to get the girls to understand that I was crying because my feelings were hurt, and then the girls started crying. That made me cry more. They still didn't get it, but they don't like to see me cry. Iris eventually apologized after dinner, and Lily said "sorry" as I was tucking her in bed. I wanted to cry again. They still didn't get it, and I knew they apologized because the threat of no TV or church movie night or snacks if they don't behave...but what can I expect? I can't really wait around for them to understand my frustration or my hurt. I never really understood my mom's...til now. :) 

Last night I prayed that I would understand patience with preschoolers better. And I prayed that the girls would learn to listen and behave not just because the threat of discipline but because it's the right thing to do; it's what Jesus wants us to do. 

I just want some naps around here for now. I had a moment yesterday where I thought, "what if I can't handle 4 kids? what do I do? There's no going back." That made me cry. I got scared. But really, what can I do? We decided on this (ok, I pushed for it) so I feel like I can't complain or express concern. So, for now I'll pray. God knows I can do it, otherwise He wouldn't have allowed it. I assume these crazy days with 3 kids is just prep for having 4. 

So, when if you think of us, pray for patience and understanding. My patience with the girls, and their understanding of why we have rules. It's going to be a looong next couple of months, but I promise to have a better outlook.

Thanks for listening.