No, this is not one of my book reviews for BookSneeze. :) I received a copy of For The Children's Sake in the curriculum package I ordered through My Father's World. I figured I would get around to reading it some time this summer, but with all of our crazy days lately with the girls' attitudes and my lack of patience, I decided to force myself to sit and read during naps this week. I am SOOOOO glad I did! I started this book, thinking it was just about home schooling but I was very wrong.
Susan Schaeffer Macaulay is a very good writer. I enjoy her style of writing. She is very direct and explains everything. I am on chapter 4, and she is speaking about Charlotte Mason's style of schooling. It is amazing to see how much I am lacking as far as knowledge of my children. I thought I knew what made them tick and how they wanted to learn, but she is making me consider things I hadn't thought of...which now makes me wonder if I REALLY know how my kids function and how they like to learn.
I think I have said this before, but I am lacking patience. I know I need to start each day in prayer, asking for help and patience. I know God wants me to ask, but I tend to assume it's a given that I need patience. And that may very well be, since God knows all. BUT, if I'm not asking, how can I be receiving?! I feel rushed every day. Rushed to get the girls to preschool, get laundry started, get my grocery list and coupons in order, get to the store, get home for lunch, get the girls down for naps, get dinner started, blah, blah, blah. I know I rush myself. I know life isn't about all those things. I know I need to slow down or I will die early from a heart attack!
I have so many things that I want to do each day, that I forget about what my children need from me each day. I put off silly play with them so I can write a grocery list. Groceries will still be there tomorrow and 20 years from now. My kids may not be. Twenty years from now, all 4 of my kids might have moved out, gotten married and/or had their own kids. I won't have time for silly play with them then. I NEED to take advantage of my relationship with them now. They NEED for me to be there. They don't care if I get the best deals at the store or if I've gotten all my coupons clipped. They care if I sat and colored with them or built them the fort they've been asking about for weeks!
Yesterday's reading was an eye opener, to say the least. It is shameful how much I put them off so I can have my home in "perfect" condition. I tell them to play by themselves or sit and watch a movie so I can clean the toilet for the 5th time this week.
Iris is lying here next to me on the couch as I type this. She napped, then came down and laid next to me and is back asleep again. I know she just wants to be near me. Do I make her feel like I am WANTing to be near her? Or am I just talking about the fact that I need to go clean something in a few minutes? Or that we don't have time to go to the library for books and play because I need to cook some elaborate dinner? They would eat peanut butter and honey every night for dinner and wouldn't think anything of it, but when I put off a library outing they remember.
I had a great childhood. I want the same for my kids. I want a clean home and things in order, so that my kids understand how to take care of things and themselves. BUT, I also want them to feel my love and that I want to be around them. They are not a JOB, but I know I treat them as such often. I am watching the clock or talking about how long til bedtime. I don't know if they internalize those comments or not, but how awful for me to even say such things! Yes, days can be long and they can be trying, but I should never be saying "I'm so glad there's only 2 hours until bedtime". And I know I've said that many times.
I am praying that God continues to show me things I can change, as I read this book. This woman, Susan Macaulay, is a Christian, so she relates everything back to our relationship with God and how He views people. I am astonished at how I view people, even my own children. They are gifts from God, temporary gifts for us to cherish and enjoy. I tend to see them as MINE and how I should be molding them. It isn't ME that molds, but God. I have no power to form a child into a great person, only God does. My responsibility is to see that they have every opportunity to hear the Word of God, understand God's desire for us, and exemplify Christian morals with my own life. The molding will come once they've started that relationship with God and desire to please Him.
Oh, so much to learn. So little time. :)
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