I started reading a free Kindle book, Don't Make Me Come Up There by Kristen Welch. It's a devotional book for moms, but I found myself reading chapter after chapter at once, like it was a regular book! :) It is funny and very encouraging. Makes me feel less ridiculous and alone as far as the mistakes moms make.
One of the chapters/days has to do with moms apologizing to kids. The author talks about having been grouchy and yelling and ends up apologizing to her kids. They don't seem to be phased by it until she says "I've sinned." They quickly forgive her.
I don't think I've ever said "I've sinned" to my girls. I've apologized to them (in a very fast way....almost too fast for them to realize I had erred and was trying to make it right because I didn't want them to really see my vulnerability..."mom is never wrong" is kind of the way I like for them to think), but I'm not even sure if I meant it or even made sure it sank in with them. I know when I'm wrong, and I expect them to learn when they are, but I know I need to be in the habit of expressing my shame and my desire to be forgiven...by God and also by them, if I've wronged one of them.
I have disciplined out of anger, no doubt. I might or might not have apologized for it. I know I should every time and that my discipline to them should be out of love and a desire to see them learn to be more loving. My desire, since reading that book and really recognizing my error, is to be more genuine and more consistent with my apologies to the girls. How can I expect them to understand when they've sinned, if I'm not willing to recognize when I do and work to correct it?
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